Report card day for Fayette County, but it wasn't the actually reports that had me back in my old, nasty swing of nail-biting. Rather, it is the side by side comparison of where my students were academically the last time report cards went home against where they are now. I'm scared people. Some of my kids are really improving. REALLY improving. And then I also saw a few backside, which gives me a gut filled with guilt. In a way as a teacher sometimes you are pulled in so many extreme directions that you just can't satisfy them all. I feel that way this year. I love the art of teaching. However, the pressure I put on myself to make a significant difference (for the positive) in these kids lives is drowning me. I feel like I can't win for losing or that nothing I do matters in the end. I'm not complaining - I knew it would be like this. No matter what career path I took, I knew I would be like this. I'm a perfectionist and you can't perfect kids. You can't really perfect anything, in the act of perfecting, you often ruin it all together.
My snow days were well spent. Tuesday I slept all day and boy oh boy did I need it. I wasn't feeling like myself, so I stayed in my comfy bed until after 4:00. Seriously. Then I went with mom to the UK game. This time I got carried away. It was probably the seats. Mom kept making fun of me and then these old men around us kept making fun of us both.
Wednesday I went to the filly sales at Keeneland to do photos. I absolutely love and at times live for photographing horses in Kentucky. Perhaps, since my grandparents had horses when I was growing up, I never had a fear of large animals. Actually, the miniature ponies could be more dangerous because they didn't realize their own size and they wanted to be so close to you they would step on your feet. They thought they were dogs. Which was endearing, until they step on your little toe and then I wanted to punch them in the eye. Oh the restraint! I think I should have bought that horse yesterday afterall and traded in my Altima. More green you know.
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