A bird told me tonight that blogs are completely narcissistic, to expect others to want to read your thoughts about yourself.
I do not necessarily believe anyone wants to read my blog. I do it for me. I publish my thoughts and feelings on the internet b/c it makes me feel more connected to humanity. Even if humanity couldn't care less about me.
Plus, in my particular case it isn't as though I'm only sharing the positive side of me. Quite honestly, I try to focus on the negative b/c it is realizing and analyzing the negatives that helps us grow and change. And good lord do I ever need to grow and change.
But I am scared to death of change. Change brings about unknown results. I know it's irrational, but I would rather have bad news now, than possibly good news in the unforeseen future. I have a fear of the unknown, of limbo. I'm also terrified that bad things are coming and are going to happen to me and the ones I love. My track record has reinforced this idea in my psyche over and over and over again.
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