Party of One, yes, just one

I can't believe it's been three whole days that I've been away. A lot has happened in the way of meetings, meetings and more meetings at school. Seems as though I'm the meeting queen. heh. Hopefully, it will all be slowing down soon. The best part is being blamed for meetings that I didn't really want to have in the first place. But I'm a big girl, I wear big girl panties and I can handle it.

Monday night I went to a rockin' little joint downtown, Natasha's, to see a band play. Had a freaking blast. Here's how the night started.

Text message: Katie I just heard the place is filling up you need to call and make reservations.

Katie to Natasha's: Yes, I would like to please make reservations for tonight.

Natasha's: What time?

Katie: 8-ish

Natasha's: How many?

Katie: 1

Natasha's: Excuse me, did you say 1?

Katie: Yes.

Natasha's: We don't really make reservations for just one. But I'll take your name anyway.

Katie: Thanks.

On arrival...

Doorman: Name?

Katie: Decker.

Doorman: I don't have you down. Party of?

Katie: 1

Doorman: Seriously?

Katie: YES. It's just me!

Doorman: We don't seat just 1, you need to find a friend.

Katie: Thanks. (walks away) %$#&$#%^*%*^

So I find a table with a hippie couple and two extra seats. I ask if I could join them and they are kind enough to oblige me. We chat for a minute about the band and the weather. And then I reach for my camera in my purse. Their eyes swell and now they want to touch it. Which is fine with me. Everyone wants to touch it.

Long story, even longer. I had a fabulous night. The band was amazing, like gave me cold chills. I got some great shots in low, low light with no flash and of course NO TRIPOD (I hate those things). When the band finished a local DJ started spinning and the real fun began. The dancing by those who in all practical and literal terms should not have been dancing. I love to people watch or stare in other such terms. And this meek little guy takes out his Canon Rebel and starts snapping away at the DJ with his on-camera flash blinding the poor guy and I lose it. This scene cracks me up and so I can't go home b/c I'm obligated to watch this train wreck. And when I get home although I should crawl straight into bed, I feel pumped enough to do laundry and talk to both of my parents on the phone. Turn the page, and the next day the residual effects are still lingering. I'm freaking happy and smiling naturally for once in a long time. Tuesday felt great. And even my 2nd graders could see it and feel it. They kept making fun of me b/c I was hyper and giddy and darn it we had a great day, too.

But alas, all good things must come to and end and they did at abruptly 4 o'clock and I'm trying to cope yet again.

The redeeming factor is that I still have tons of photos to edit and a CD to boot. So if I focus hard enough I can pretend I'm back at the gig on Monday - you know if I added some humus in the mix - and I'm slightly smiling again.

Moving on. I'm being observed tomorrow for my KTIP deal again. Being observed NEVER used to freak me out. I mean I was a ballerina for goodness sake. I changed clothes my entire life in front of a room full of people. Having someone watch me teach with my clothes on is NO big deal at all. But the pressure of assessments and testing has eaten away at me. I'm so focused on the numbers. And I promised I would never get this way. Frig, I have T-shirts that say "I teach students, not subjects". But then again I'm lost in it all. The thing about it is though, that my kids are learning BUCKETS FULL. They just (a) aren't showing it on the tests and (b) the things they are learning may not necessarily be on the tests they are taking at school. However, I believe (and I'm serious) that the lessons they are learning are changing the way these kids think, feel, and act for the positive. I can see them growing and maturing. I can hear it in the way they speak to adults and one another. I can see it in the way they take responsibility for their actions and own up to their indiscretions. And no, most of that is not me, it is the fact they are aging. Yet, it makes me smile. I'm taking the credit, people, okay? So back off. I need this right now more than mother nature. She gets enough of the credit. Moreover, it is satisfying to know that my students love me and they really do. We are goofy and stupid and silly. We have dance parties and I speak with a disheveled British accent sometimes and maybe we have a little too much fun once in a while, but right now I don't care. I have taken partial ownership of these children emotionally, physically and psychologically. They are MY babies. And I treat them that way. I believe in them and trust them and get disappointed and frustrated because I care about them. Which reminds me that if I ever want to teach again, I have GOT to do this KTIP work.

I'm uploading a few photos from the other night. WAY more to come. I'm not gonna lie, praise is always appreciated. ;)