On Friday night, I had the honor of photographing Shomari Kendrick a senior at Layfette High School here in Lexington. Take note of her name people, she's a real star!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Pillowcase Project
It's 4:18 a.m. and I just woke-up - WIDE AWAKE. Geez. I guess I went to bed too early, but with being sick I have been trying to get as much sleep as possible. Apparently, at 4:00 a.m. my body decided it had enough! I'm going to do a little new/old remedy for insomnia, the old being drink a glass of milk (it's what my mother does each night) and blog.
For our Valentine's Day project at school, one of my classroom mothers had a great idea of what to do with our kids - we decorated pillowcases for the children at the UK Cancer Center. I wrote a grant using an online donation website called DonorsChoose.org and had a tremendous response from both friends AND complete strangers who just happened to like our idea.
http://www.donorschoose.org/DeckersDinosaurs
My kids had a blast drawing on the pillowcases. We used fabric markers by Crayola for the first set. We will be doing a second and maybe even a third set before the year is finished.
I'm going to make a plug/plea for volunteers now. If you have time during the day to come and read with a child or listen to a child read to you or help one learn their math facts, please, please, please come to my classroom. My kids need all the help they can get. They are great students and very capable, they just need lots of love and support.
To volunteer, please fill out this short survey. Make sure to put SOUTHERN ELEMENTARY as the location.
https://webapps.fcps.net/volunteer/
Two things: 1) I cannot put my students' faces on my blog and 2) we didn't tell them what to draw or write (but notice all those AWESOME dinosaurs!!!!!!!)
My classroom is FULL of life!
For our Valentine's Day project at school, one of my classroom mothers had a great idea of what to do with our kids - we decorated pillowcases for the children at the UK Cancer Center. I wrote a grant using an online donation website called DonorsChoose.org and had a tremendous response from both friends AND complete strangers who just happened to like our idea.
http://www.donorschoose.org/DeckersDinosaurs
My kids had a blast drawing on the pillowcases. We used fabric markers by Crayola for the first set. We will be doing a second and maybe even a third set before the year is finished.
I'm going to make a plug/plea for volunteers now. If you have time during the day to come and read with a child or listen to a child read to you or help one learn their math facts, please, please, please come to my classroom. My kids need all the help they can get. They are great students and very capable, they just need lots of love and support.
To volunteer, please fill out this short survey. Make sure to put SOUTHERN ELEMENTARY as the location.
https://webapps.fcps.net/volunteer/
Two things: 1) I cannot put my students' faces on my blog and 2) we didn't tell them what to draw or write (but notice all those AWESOME dinosaurs!!!!!!!)
My classroom is FULL of life!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Possible Deafness
Went back to the doctor today for a routine check-up (was scheduled BEFORE I got sick). She took one look in my ear and immediately prescribed me more antibiotics and told me she was making me an appointment at my ENT specialist for next week. She told me I could suffer from minor, but permanent hearing loss in that ear. Which brings me to tonight's blog topic...what would I miss if I could no longer hear? I never want to take anything for granted, especially god given gifts.
- the voices of my friends and family
- the beatles
- my students learning and growing, showing what they know and asking those important life questions
- my granny singing
- thunder and rain
- the click of my camera's shutter
- wind-chimes in the damp summer air
- the rest of the music now and in the future on my ipod
- Sydney's bark
- waves crashing against a beach
- my mom screaming cuss words at UK games
- frogs croaking
- firetruck sirens (they remind me of my grandfather, even though I never met him)
- the ninny of a horse
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The Daily Lama
I think I'm in the clear as far as the death watch is concerned. I don't think I'll be doing any dying this time around. However, I still don't have the hearing back in my right ear yet.
I've shortened the title of my mini daily Dalai Lama book down to The Daily Lama. I think it has a ring to it.
Today's Teaching:
The basic fact is that humanity survives through kindness, love and compassion. That human beings can develop these qualities is their real blessing. - Dalai Lama, 2000
I was putting away earrings one day this week and realized that at some point I had left a lens cap on my dresser. I love the fact that photography is so much a part of me and of my life that it never seems out of place, even in my bedroom.
My first attempt at taking photos of the moon. Not happy with it at all. Will try again soon.
I've shortened the title of my mini daily Dalai Lama book down to The Daily Lama. I think it has a ring to it.
Today's Teaching:
The basic fact is that humanity survives through kindness, love and compassion. That human beings can develop these qualities is their real blessing. - Dalai Lama, 2000
Monday, February 21, 2011
Flu, Sinus Infection, Ear Infection
Just got back from the doctor, again. You see on Saturday when I went originally, they told me I had wax built up in my right ear, which was blocking my eartube from draining. But that my ear looked okay. Told me to get some wax remover at the store when I picked up my prescriptions. And so I did.
Ear cleaning went well on Saturday and Sunday. Today I'm going my same routine and my friend, Jen, calls. And I want to talk to her. So I grab a tissue from the box and I put it up to my ear. Immediately an intense shock of fire and pain rush over my body, down my ear, into my throat and I scream. The tissues had Vick's Vapor Rub on them. I scream, hang up on Jen. And run to stick my head under running water. My ear is throbbing and I realize I've lost all hearing in it. I decide temporarily that I'm not going to the doctor, that I'll wait until the morning. But the pain keeps on and I know there is no way I will be able to rest with this pain.
I call my friend, Amber, who graciously comes to chariot me to the Urgent Treatment Center. The registration nurse asks me what happened and concludes that the chemicals must have reacted and burst my eardrum.
We finally get to see the doctor and she looks in my ear and tells me I have a nasty ear infection. I'm trying to tell her what I did to it, but she doesn't care. Says there is no way that the Vick's created that infection, even though my ear did not hurt at all before it was introduced. Declares I have the flu, a sinus infection and now an ear infection. Calls in prescription drops and I'm on my way home.
To boot, and this is just typical for me, when Amber and I are walking across the parking lot at Rite Aid to go pick up my drops, I almost get backed over by a car. Like within a few feet.
So I'm home with more medication. Yea!!!
Ear cleaning went well on Saturday and Sunday. Today I'm going my same routine and my friend, Jen, calls. And I want to talk to her. So I grab a tissue from the box and I put it up to my ear. Immediately an intense shock of fire and pain rush over my body, down my ear, into my throat and I scream. The tissues had Vick's Vapor Rub on them. I scream, hang up on Jen. And run to stick my head under running water. My ear is throbbing and I realize I've lost all hearing in it. I decide temporarily that I'm not going to the doctor, that I'll wait until the morning. But the pain keeps on and I know there is no way I will be able to rest with this pain.
I call my friend, Amber, who graciously comes to chariot me to the Urgent Treatment Center. The registration nurse asks me what happened and concludes that the chemicals must have reacted and burst my eardrum.
We finally get to see the doctor and she looks in my ear and tells me I have a nasty ear infection. I'm trying to tell her what I did to it, but she doesn't care. Says there is no way that the Vick's created that infection, even though my ear did not hurt at all before it was introduced. Declares I have the flu, a sinus infection and now an ear infection. Calls in prescription drops and I'm on my way home.
To boot, and this is just typical for me, when Amber and I are walking across the parking lot at Rite Aid to go pick up my drops, I almost get backed over by a car. Like within a few feet.
So I'm home with more medication. Yea!!!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sick Day
They say I've got the flu and a sinus infection, but I'm pretty sure I'm just dying of Tuberculosis and they didn't want to spread mass chaos throughout the greater Lexington area.
I bit the bullet and switched away from my trusted and easy Shutterfly Pro account today to a Zenfolio account. Out of the box, so to speak, I like Zenfolio a lot better. We will see how things go, I guess.
http://deckerdigitaldesign.zenfolio.com/
Can't go back to school until Wednesday, so I have a lot of time left watching reruns and rolling around restlessly in my bed. I hate being sick. It is so boring. And painful. My lymph nodes are the size of large grapes and oh so tender.
I upgraded my storage space so I may begin uploading photos to my blog again. I just don't feel much like it tonight.
Bought "real" fruit popsicles to help keep me hydrated. They suck. Not nearly sweet enough. I'd rather have just eaten real fruit.
I bit the bullet and switched away from my trusted and easy Shutterfly Pro account today to a Zenfolio account. Out of the box, so to speak, I like Zenfolio a lot better. We will see how things go, I guess.
http://deckerdigitaldesign.zenfolio.com/
Can't go back to school until Wednesday, so I have a lot of time left watching reruns and rolling around restlessly in my bed. I hate being sick. It is so boring. And painful. My lymph nodes are the size of large grapes and oh so tender.
I upgraded my storage space so I may begin uploading photos to my blog again. I just don't feel much like it tonight.
Bought "real" fruit popsicles to help keep me hydrated. They suck. Not nearly sweet enough. I'd rather have just eaten real fruit.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Past Vignettes
During my master's program I took a class entitled Writing and Teaching Writing. We wrote and remembered how it felt to be truly bad at something. Those emotions are so common to our students and yet are lost on us as teachers. Below is a series of vignettes I wrote about the ice storm we had a few years ago.
Refugee
A refugee, rather we were a family of refugees. The shivering leg and blue lipped morning brought about the realization that our modern marvels had escaped our constant torture. My frost-bite inducing shower called upon my inner demons to lie aside, idiosyncrasies like my pride and prejudice, my stubbornness, and determination to overcome. These irrational thoughts are utterly inappropriate at 40 degrees. The layering, the packing, the defrosting make way for our trek away from the anti-hell.
Unannounced
A complete communication melt-down in the midst of a frozen tundra disables us from announcing our presence in future tense. Welcomed at the door with vital articles in hand – laptops, homework, dog. We crash the preexisting party to save ourselves from the bitterness that winter rarely brings. Staring into smiles, we mirror back the emotion, yet it is false. As false as the lies you tell your parents in adolescence. Hopefully, it is not as obvious as it feels. Home calls on me, my heart, my mind, my spirit. It wants me back, needs me to tend to its dirt and filth and grime. Needs me to shield it from the synchronized bursting of plumbing and the draining of its cool, wet lifeline. But I am concerned with my own blood, fearing deep inside that it might systematically plug my veins with crimson cubes.
Adopted
Avoiding the necessary, we allow ourselves to be enveloped into a new clan, a new last name. We adopt their schedule, food and nature. We reject thoughts of the outside, for we are whole within their abode. I take on a role fair removed from my will or want, that of the nurturer, the protector, the snuggler. I find myself holding a man, one who although we are much the same is still not mine. And despite our attempts, we have not evaded the world for long. It comes for us via voice, a plea to our innermost humanity.
Leary
Treacherous travel before us, we gather again our most prized possessions. We batten the hatches and sail forth through the tunnel of frozen time, her skeletal bones scraping down our sides. The very reason for her destruction reciprocates spurious protection. And time stands still.
Release
Before me, an opportunity to release the building tension in my soul. I transform into a murderer of limb, branch and twig. I massacre the reasons for suffering and displacement. Sore muscles do not slow my thunder. A constant, determined roar erupts from my toes and releases its disparaging effects unto the land. Peace.
Zen Generosity
I feel like if I had a "real" life that after this many days of being away from my blogging, I would have something meaningful to express. Alas, it just isn't the case. So anecdotes must suffice.
Generosity - Wednesday night I met a man with a Tibetan name. Since I was able to pronoun it correctly on the first try, he asked me if I was good with languages. Which I'm not. I butch Spanish, but I try to teach it to my students anyway. I told him I had read a few books about Tibet and was able to draw the correlation from those texts. He asked me what books and I rattled off a few Zen Buddhist titles and an old favorite about the adventure of climbing Mount Everest (Into Thin Air by Kraukauer). So he reaches into his bag and gives me a small book of Dalai Lama quotes and told me he wanted me to have it. I was moved. This is the perfect example of living your religion, no matter what that religion happens to be. I don't care if your Buddhist, Christian, Catholic, Hindu or combination of them all...being able to practice what you preach is the main idea. Don't just say it on Sunday, don't really say it at all. Live it. I'll carry this book around for a long time I speculate.
I am not promoting Buddhism.
I am promoting human values.
Dalai Lama, Address to a Buddhist Teachers' Conference in California, July 2000
Love - as the world knows Monday was Valentine's Day. *cough, gag, cough* I can be somewhat of a cynic sometimes and therefore I was. But on Tuesday when the dust had cleared and I began reading the Valentine's cards my students had made me and given to me at school, I got over my bad attitude. My kids love me and I absolutely love them and it shows in the simple things like the way they hug me on their way into the room in the mornings or on their way to the bus. Or the way they ask me a million questions about me, what I like, what I do for fun, where do I live, why don't I have kids... They genuinely want to know me. And I love them. I love joking with them and knowing what books are their favorites and what their favorite video game is (UUUGGGGHHH). I know my students well. I know when they are having off days and when they don't necessarily understand b/c I have paid attention to them. I can read their faces. And I don't often give myself enough credit for my teaching. This is the one thing that I may do better than anything else, I love my kids.
I've recently decided I like shooting musical performances and thus have been practicing it quite a bit. Am having issues with posting photos to my blog, however, as I have ran out of online space! LOL. That didn't take very long! I'll figure it out soon enough. Until then, I am forcing myself to update my website more often.
www.deckerdigitaldesign.com
Generosity - Wednesday night I met a man with a Tibetan name. Since I was able to pronoun it correctly on the first try, he asked me if I was good with languages. Which I'm not. I butch Spanish, but I try to teach it to my students anyway. I told him I had read a few books about Tibet and was able to draw the correlation from those texts. He asked me what books and I rattled off a few Zen Buddhist titles and an old favorite about the adventure of climbing Mount Everest (Into Thin Air by Kraukauer). So he reaches into his bag and gives me a small book of Dalai Lama quotes and told me he wanted me to have it. I was moved. This is the perfect example of living your religion, no matter what that religion happens to be. I don't care if your Buddhist, Christian, Catholic, Hindu or combination of them all...being able to practice what you preach is the main idea. Don't just say it on Sunday, don't really say it at all. Live it. I'll carry this book around for a long time I speculate.
I am not promoting Buddhism.
I am promoting human values.
Dalai Lama, Address to a Buddhist Teachers' Conference in California, July 2000
Love - as the world knows Monday was Valentine's Day. *cough, gag, cough* I can be somewhat of a cynic sometimes and therefore I was. But on Tuesday when the dust had cleared and I began reading the Valentine's cards my students had made me and given to me at school, I got over my bad attitude. My kids love me and I absolutely love them and it shows in the simple things like the way they hug me on their way into the room in the mornings or on their way to the bus. Or the way they ask me a million questions about me, what I like, what I do for fun, where do I live, why don't I have kids... They genuinely want to know me. And I love them. I love joking with them and knowing what books are their favorites and what their favorite video game is (UUUGGGGHHH). I know my students well. I know when they are having off days and when they don't necessarily understand b/c I have paid attention to them. I can read their faces. And I don't often give myself enough credit for my teaching. This is the one thing that I may do better than anything else, I love my kids.
I've recently decided I like shooting musical performances and thus have been practicing it quite a bit. Am having issues with posting photos to my blog, however, as I have ran out of online space! LOL. That didn't take very long! I'll figure it out soon enough. Until then, I am forcing myself to update my website more often.
www.deckerdigitaldesign.com
Monday, February 14, 2011
Big Maracas!
It is problematic when you are trying to have a photo blog and you don't have enough online space to actually post the photos! Oh geez! Searching for an upgrade option!
In the meanwhile, I am posting my photos on my website and then linking them here.
Decker Digital Design: Big Maracas
In the meanwhile, I am posting my photos on my website and then linking them here.
Decker Digital Design: Big Maracas
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Too Many Drummers
The entire album, or at least the 30 best shots, are on my website. They were too big to post all on my blog. I hate that I'm giving the run around.
Such is life.
Decker Digital Design: Too Many Drummers
Such is life.
Decker Digital Design: Too Many Drummers
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Party of One, yes, just one
I can't believe it's been three whole days that I've been away. A lot has happened in the way of meetings, meetings and more meetings at school. Seems as though I'm the meeting queen. heh. Hopefully, it will all be slowing down soon. The best part is being blamed for meetings that I didn't really want to have in the first place. But I'm a big girl, I wear big girl panties and I can handle it.
Monday night I went to a rockin' little joint downtown, Natasha's, to see a band play. Had a freaking blast. Here's how the night started.
Text message: Katie I just heard the place is filling up you need to call and make reservations.
Katie to Natasha's: Yes, I would like to please make reservations for tonight.
Natasha's: What time?
Katie: 8-ish
Natasha's: How many?
Katie: 1
Natasha's: Excuse me, did you say 1?
Katie: Yes.
Natasha's: We don't really make reservations for just one. But I'll take your name anyway.
Katie: Thanks.
On arrival...
Doorman: Name?
Katie: Decker.
Doorman: I don't have you down. Party of?
Katie: 1
Doorman: Seriously?
Katie: YES. It's just me!
Doorman: We don't seat just 1, you need to find a friend.
Katie: Thanks. (walks away) %$#&$#%^*%*^
So I find a table with a hippie couple and two extra seats. I ask if I could join them and they are kind enough to oblige me. We chat for a minute about the band and the weather. And then I reach for my camera in my purse. Their eyes swell and now they want to touch it. Which is fine with me. Everyone wants to touch it.
Long story, even longer. I had a fabulous night. The band was amazing, like gave me cold chills. I got some great shots in low, low light with no flash and of course NO TRIPOD (I hate those things). When the band finished a local DJ started spinning and the real fun began. The dancing by those who in all practical and literal terms should not have been dancing. I love to people watch or stare in other such terms. And this meek little guy takes out his Canon Rebel and starts snapping away at the DJ with his on-camera flash blinding the poor guy and I lose it. This scene cracks me up and so I can't go home b/c I'm obligated to watch this train wreck. And when I get home although I should crawl straight into bed, I feel pumped enough to do laundry and talk to both of my parents on the phone. Turn the page, and the next day the residual effects are still lingering. I'm freaking happy and smiling naturally for once in a long time. Tuesday felt great. And even my 2nd graders could see it and feel it. They kept making fun of me b/c I was hyper and giddy and darn it we had a great day, too.
But alas, all good things must come to and end and they did at abruptly 4 o'clock and I'm trying to cope yet again.
The redeeming factor is that I still have tons of photos to edit and a CD to boot. So if I focus hard enough I can pretend I'm back at the gig on Monday - you know if I added some humus in the mix - and I'm slightly smiling again.
Moving on. I'm being observed tomorrow for my KTIP deal again. Being observed NEVER used to freak me out. I mean I was a ballerina for goodness sake. I changed clothes my entire life in front of a room full of people. Having someone watch me teach with my clothes on is NO big deal at all. But the pressure of assessments and testing has eaten away at me. I'm so focused on the numbers. And I promised I would never get this way. Frig, I have T-shirts that say "I teach students, not subjects". But then again I'm lost in it all. The thing about it is though, that my kids are learning BUCKETS FULL. They just (a) aren't showing it on the tests and (b) the things they are learning may not necessarily be on the tests they are taking at school. However, I believe (and I'm serious) that the lessons they are learning are changing the way these kids think, feel, and act for the positive. I can see them growing and maturing. I can hear it in the way they speak to adults and one another. I can see it in the way they take responsibility for their actions and own up to their indiscretions. And no, most of that is not me, it is the fact they are aging. Yet, it makes me smile. I'm taking the credit, people, okay? So back off. I need this right now more than mother nature. She gets enough of the credit. Moreover, it is satisfying to know that my students love me and they really do. We are goofy and stupid and silly. We have dance parties and I speak with a disheveled British accent sometimes and maybe we have a little too much fun once in a while, but right now I don't care. I have taken partial ownership of these children emotionally, physically and psychologically. They are MY babies. And I treat them that way. I believe in them and trust them and get disappointed and frustrated because I care about them. Which reminds me that if I ever want to teach again, I have GOT to do this KTIP work.
I'm uploading a few photos from the other night. WAY more to come. I'm not gonna lie, praise is always appreciated. ;)
Monday night I went to a rockin' little joint downtown, Natasha's, to see a band play. Had a freaking blast. Here's how the night started.
Text message: Katie I just heard the place is filling up you need to call and make reservations.
Katie to Natasha's: Yes, I would like to please make reservations for tonight.
Natasha's: What time?
Katie: 8-ish
Natasha's: How many?
Katie: 1
Natasha's: Excuse me, did you say 1?
Katie: Yes.
Natasha's: We don't really make reservations for just one. But I'll take your name anyway.
Katie: Thanks.
On arrival...
Doorman: Name?
Katie: Decker.
Doorman: I don't have you down. Party of?
Katie: 1
Doorman: Seriously?
Katie: YES. It's just me!
Doorman: We don't seat just 1, you need to find a friend.
Katie: Thanks. (walks away) %$#&$#%^*%*^
So I find a table with a hippie couple and two extra seats. I ask if I could join them and they are kind enough to oblige me. We chat for a minute about the band and the weather. And then I reach for my camera in my purse. Their eyes swell and now they want to touch it. Which is fine with me. Everyone wants to touch it.
Long story, even longer. I had a fabulous night. The band was amazing, like gave me cold chills. I got some great shots in low, low light with no flash and of course NO TRIPOD (I hate those things). When the band finished a local DJ started spinning and the real fun began. The dancing by those who in all practical and literal terms should not have been dancing. I love to people watch or stare in other such terms. And this meek little guy takes out his Canon Rebel and starts snapping away at the DJ with his on-camera flash blinding the poor guy and I lose it. This scene cracks me up and so I can't go home b/c I'm obligated to watch this train wreck. And when I get home although I should crawl straight into bed, I feel pumped enough to do laundry and talk to both of my parents on the phone. Turn the page, and the next day the residual effects are still lingering. I'm freaking happy and smiling naturally for once in a long time. Tuesday felt great. And even my 2nd graders could see it and feel it. They kept making fun of me b/c I was hyper and giddy and darn it we had a great day, too.
But alas, all good things must come to and end and they did at abruptly 4 o'clock and I'm trying to cope yet again.
The redeeming factor is that I still have tons of photos to edit and a CD to boot. So if I focus hard enough I can pretend I'm back at the gig on Monday - you know if I added some humus in the mix - and I'm slightly smiling again.
Moving on. I'm being observed tomorrow for my KTIP deal again. Being observed NEVER used to freak me out. I mean I was a ballerina for goodness sake. I changed clothes my entire life in front of a room full of people. Having someone watch me teach with my clothes on is NO big deal at all. But the pressure of assessments and testing has eaten away at me. I'm so focused on the numbers. And I promised I would never get this way. Frig, I have T-shirts that say "I teach students, not subjects". But then again I'm lost in it all. The thing about it is though, that my kids are learning BUCKETS FULL. They just (a) aren't showing it on the tests and (b) the things they are learning may not necessarily be on the tests they are taking at school. However, I believe (and I'm serious) that the lessons they are learning are changing the way these kids think, feel, and act for the positive. I can see them growing and maturing. I can hear it in the way they speak to adults and one another. I can see it in the way they take responsibility for their actions and own up to their indiscretions. And no, most of that is not me, it is the fact they are aging. Yet, it makes me smile. I'm taking the credit, people, okay? So back off. I need this right now more than mother nature. She gets enough of the credit. Moreover, it is satisfying to know that my students love me and they really do. We are goofy and stupid and silly. We have dance parties and I speak with a disheveled British accent sometimes and maybe we have a little too much fun once in a while, but right now I don't care. I have taken partial ownership of these children emotionally, physically and psychologically. They are MY babies. And I treat them that way. I believe in them and trust them and get disappointed and frustrated because I care about them. Which reminds me that if I ever want to teach again, I have GOT to do this KTIP work.
I'm uploading a few photos from the other night. WAY more to come. I'm not gonna lie, praise is always appreciated. ;)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
fotografía
That's photo in espanol.
I feel at home with a camera in my hand. Not just any camera, my camera, but she is almost always with me.
I feel at home with a camera in my hand. Not just any camera, my camera, but she is almost always with me.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Karma is One Ugly...
Is it possible to have absolutely no fingernails? I wonder, because I'm almost there. Chewing my nails is my version of smoking or vodka. I think I've beat the habit until major stress comes along and then I realize I will always be an addict and this will be something I fight my entire life.
Today I again am finding myself counting my many blessings. All I can say is that I must have lived a pretty terrible life the last time b/c I'm paying for it now. Karma is one ugly bitch. I sure hope I enjoyed whatever it was.
I'm pondering the idea of why it is so much harder to do what is right, than to skate by on what is wrong? It seems as though our society and institutions make it far easier to merely exist, not saying everything easy is wrong, but it always seem as though what is right is so darn hard to accomplish. Mediocrity is celebrated. And those of us who desire a higher place value are labeled perfectionists (as if that's a bad thing). I'm okay with being a perfectionist, if it means I am not settling for what is comfortable at that moment. We are thinking things. We can reason and react and anticipate intellectually and with great evidence. These are skills that set us apart from the rest of existence. I might, indeed, be going crazy. I might one day end up institutionalized for being a perfectionist and constantly getting it wrong. But at least I won't have taken my life, the air I breathe, the talents bestowed upon me lightly or for granted. I will struggle to derive and create meaning for my life. And I'll leave this world with pieces of me scattered throughout time and place and people. Hopefully, in that brief moment between life and death I will be able to review in its entirety the value of my life and be at peace.
Today I again am finding myself counting my many blessings. All I can say is that I must have lived a pretty terrible life the last time b/c I'm paying for it now. Karma is one ugly bitch. I sure hope I enjoyed whatever it was.
I'm pondering the idea of why it is so much harder to do what is right, than to skate by on what is wrong? It seems as though our society and institutions make it far easier to merely exist, not saying everything easy is wrong, but it always seem as though what is right is so darn hard to accomplish. Mediocrity is celebrated. And those of us who desire a higher place value are labeled perfectionists (as if that's a bad thing). I'm okay with being a perfectionist, if it means I am not settling for what is comfortable at that moment. We are thinking things. We can reason and react and anticipate intellectually and with great evidence. These are skills that set us apart from the rest of existence. I might, indeed, be going crazy. I might one day end up institutionalized for being a perfectionist and constantly getting it wrong. But at least I won't have taken my life, the air I breathe, the talents bestowed upon me lightly or for granted. I will struggle to derive and create meaning for my life. And I'll leave this world with pieces of me scattered throughout time and place and people. Hopefully, in that brief moment between life and death I will be able to review in its entirety the value of my life and be at peace.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Living Room 101
On a very positive note, our little class Valentine's project was fully funded today by some dear friends, family members and a few generous donors from various other states. My kids will be decorating pillowcases during their Valentine's Day party and I will be delivering them to the Kentucky Children's Hospital at UK. I want to be with them when they are delivered so I may photograph the patients (pending their approval). My kids can't go, we don't have the money for that type of field trip, plus I doubt it would be approved - not educational enough- but I would like for them to "see" where their good deeds have gone.
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